It has been a month and my last memory of you replayed in my head over and over. It felt like something that had happened to someone else, or that I’d seen on TV. Your last words were hazy, each gesture you made were exaggerated or traded in for something that didn’t happened, but the end result was always the same. No matter how many times I ran through it, you’re gone. Forever. My mornings are usually illuminated by the past 24 years of my life with you. Every corner, may it be the house or somewhere else reminds me of you. Remembering even the simplest things that you do makes me miss you even more. You being not around here anymore… I can’t get over it. I can’t get through it. I can’t get by it because I can’t get around it. It doesn’t get better, it just gets different every friggin day. Grief puts a new face to the life I was used to. ‘Grief is like the ocean: its deep, dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like the thief in the night: quiet, persistent, unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love.’
I miss you Inang.
June 25, 2014